This past month has been a huge rollercoaster for me. I have been dealing with a lot of things in my own life as well as some things in a friends. Sometimes when life gets too hard to deal with we tend to chose unhealthy outlets. Well, i happened to chose just one of those this past month. Something that has always been at the back of my mind, but i never fully let it take over. What is this unhealthy outlet you may ask? Well, its a little something called not eating. It's something that I have thought about for a long time. With all of the things that have been going on this month and this over whelming feeling that life is uncontrolable sometimes, I just decided to control something. I dabled in it for a good couple of weeks, and then the last 2 weeks went full force. It felt so wonderful being in control, and i honestly thought I could stop once I got to a weight that I was comfotable at. Well, thanks to a wonderful friend, and a little time at a lake making comparisons between the two of us an our decisions, I realized that not eating is not a good out. Deep down, I think I knew that once I let it take control, that I would not be able to stop. I knew that it was harmful to my self and eventualy to those around me, but I wanted to be in control. It took a lot of soul searching and discussions with a friend,but thankfully I came to this conclusion before it got out of control. I now need to focus my energy on more healthy ways to feel in control.I am not saying that this feeling is gone totaly away, but I have the realization that this is not a good out and can push it away whenever it decides to come back. I don't need to cut out food all together, I can just watch what I eat and make healthier choices. I don't have to say no to cookies and sweets all the time. I can have a cookie or a sweet every once in a while. There is nothing wrong with enjoying some of lifes tasty treats. I can go running or walking when I feel out of control and can let all my energy out that way. I can also talk to my wonderful friend who has helped me through this entire month!
Sometimes we wonder why things happen in our life and why certain people come into our lives, and we never find out until later why they may come into our lives. I am so thankful for friends and family that I know I can turn to in times of need! I am so thankful for the Lord and that he knows what is best for us, and he knows when it is best for things to happen and for certain people to come into our lives. I don't know where I would be without the gospel and some very special friends and family! Thank you to my Mom Deja, and to someone who will remain anonymous, but you know who you are. You have been there for me through the hard times, even if you didn't know it! Thank you oh so very much! I love all 3 of you so much and am so thankful that you are all in my life!
Please don't let this post send you into panic mode, I just felt it was time to let it all out and try and hold my self a little more accountable for my actions. Once stuff is out there, you can't take it back and it makes it easier to follow through with things you say your going to do! So my challenge to all of you, is to look at your own life and see if there are unhealthy outlets that you have chosen to take. If there are, find a healthy outlet and then tell someone so you can be held accountable for it. Thank you all for being there for my family and I! I love you all a ton and hope you have a wonderful week!
