I have been struggling a lot lately with the here and now. I have felt lost and stuck all at the same time. I feel as if my life is going no where fast. I so desperatley want the someday to be closer, and feel more attainable.I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's as if the world is spinning in cirlces and I am stopped. Watching the world and everyone else in it move forward and go on with their lives. Miserable could be a word used to describe my feelings for the past little while. I get spurts of happiness and I feel as if its not too bad, and then the misery comes back. I see so many people getting married, having families, and or finishing school, and all I can think of is when will it be my turn? The answer is always the same, someday, someday it will be your turn and you will look back and think it was all worth it. The fight and struggle was worth getting to the new here and now.
I can not tell you how much I love going to church and reading my scriptures. Yes, it is true that I am not the best at either one of these, but when I am able to get back on track I feel so much better. Answers come and peace fills my heart to its capacity. Today was one of those days. I went to a friends farewell today and felt the spirit so strongly. In every talk I felt peace in knowing that all would be okay, and that I will make it to my someday. It may be hard at times, but the Lord has blessed me with so many wonderful people to help me get through the here and now. He knew he couldn't be here personally to comfort me, so he has sent me the Holy Ghost to comfort me and some wonderful friends and family. Even when a friend has moved away and is no longer just a 15 minute drive away,they send a random text to say I love you and miss you, that too helps take away some of the pain and lonelyness. It means the world. A random hug from another friend, and a sleep over to just hang out. It all means the world. I am so thankful to the Lord for all the wonderful people he has placed in my life. You guys will never know how much you mean to me and how much I admire and look up to you all. I am so thankful for this gospel. I know that it is true. I know the Lord lives and loves each and every one of us. I know he hears and answers prayers. I have a testimony of the scriptures and how they can be answers to our prayers and give us comfort and peace when we feel we cant go any longer. I have a testimony of tithing. I know that by paying our tithing we will be blessed. We will have the things that we need. I know that families can be together forever, and can't wait to have mine. I am so thankful for the wonderful family the Lord has blessed me with. He has blessed me with amazing parents who truly love me and who have shown me how to be strong, even when times are hard. They have shown me how to love and forgive. They are wonderful and I love them more and more each day! I am so thankful to know that I am never truly alone. The Lord is always by my side, ready to give me a helping hand. He is there to help me with my everyday struggles. To help me get through the now, so I can get to the someday. I know the someday, the Eternal Family, is woth the fight and struggle. We just never realize it until it is upon us. Thank you for being my rocks!
