Life....?

Life right now pretty much sucks. I am at a loss of what to do right now. My best friend in the entire world again has no will to live. How can you make someone see that they are important and that they matter? How can you tell someone that God does love all of his children, and that he does not just sit on the side lines? Whenever it seems to be looking like its getting better, something else comes along to hault the progress. I was told that God does not care about us at all. If he cared he would not take away people that we love and keep letting us suffer. He has the power to stop all the suffering and yet he does not. He just stands on the sidelines, or so she says. What do I say to this?
I know that he does not stand on the sidelines! He suffers through every single pain with us. We chose to come to this earth and to feel all this pain. We knew what we were getting into, and yet we still came. I know that we are never alone and that he does not enjoy watching us suffer, but he can't fix everything. Yes, he has the power to fix everything, but then we would learn nothing and never be a strong people. Without the suffering, pain,and sorrow, we would never know what it was like to not suffer or experience joy and happiness. I know all of this and tell it to her all the time, but it is not getting through. I pray for her everyday. I pray that I will know what to say to help her, I pray that she will know what to do to help herself, that her family will know what to do to help and that her therapist will know what to do to help.
I know that this gospel is true, and it pains me to see others suffer through life without it! I wish I could make them see all the good that is in their life! There is always gonna be bad in our life, but there is always gonna be good too! I know we need to more closely look at the good instead of the bad, but how do you make others do this. If all we look for is the bad, then that is all we are going to find. Life is full of so many blessings, and I wish people would look at that instead of the bad. "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of god and of all men..." "...ye must pray always..." "I cry into my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry." At this time I would like to ask all of you to please pray for my friend! Please help me to "cry unto (our) God in faith, and I know that he will hear (our) cry. Love you all and thank you!

Rollercoaster!

This past month has been a huge rollercoaster for me. I have been dealing with a lot of things in my own life as well as some things in a friends. Sometimes when life gets too hard to deal with we tend to chose unhealthy outlets. Well, i happened to chose just one of those this past month. Something that has always been at the back of my mind, but i never fully let it take over. What is this unhealthy outlet you may ask? Well, its a little something called not eating. It's something that I have thought about for a long time. With all of the things that have been going on this month and this over whelming feeling that life is uncontrolable sometimes, I just decided to control something. I dabled in it for a good couple of weeks, and then the last 2 weeks went full force. It felt so wonderful being in control, and i honestly thought I could stop once I got to a weight that I was comfotable at. Well, thanks to a wonderful friend, and a little time at a lake making comparisons between the two of us an our decisions, I realized that not eating is not a good out. Deep down, I think I knew that once I let it take control, that I would not be able to stop. I knew that it was harmful to my self and eventualy to those around me, but I wanted to be in control. It took a lot of soul searching and discussions with a friend,but thankfully I came to this conclusion before it got out of control. I now need to focus my energy on more healthy ways to feel in control.I am not saying that this feeling is gone totaly away, but I have the realization that this is not a good out and can push it away whenever it decides to come back. I don't need to cut out food all together, I can just watch what I eat and make healthier choices. I don't have to say no to cookies and sweets all the time. I can have a cookie or a sweet every once in a while. There is nothing wrong with enjoying some of lifes tasty treats. I can go running or walking when I feel out of control and can let all my energy out that way. I can also talk to my wonderful friend who has helped me through this entire month!
Sometimes we wonder why things happen in our life and why certain people come into our lives, and we never find out until later why they may come into our lives. I am so thankful for friends and family that I know I can turn to in times of need! I am so thankful for the Lord and that he knows what is best for us, and he knows when it is best for things to happen and for certain people to come into our lives. I don't know where I would be without the gospel and some very special friends and family! Thank you to my Mom Deja, and to someone who will remain anonymous, but you know who you are. You have been there for me through the hard times, even if you didn't know it! Thank you oh so very much! I love all 3 of you so much and am so thankful that you are all in my life!
Please don't let this post send you into panic mode, I just felt it was time to let it all out and try and hold my self a little more accountable for my actions. Once stuff is out there, you can't take it back and it makes it easier to follow through with things you say your going to do! So my challenge to all of you, is to look at your own life and see if there are unhealthy outlets that you have chosen to take. If there are, find a healthy outlet and then tell someone so you can be held accountable for it. Thank you all for being there for my family and I! I love you all a ton and hope you have a wonderful week!

Quotes of the week!

I was looking through a box of books, and came across "Small and Simple things", by Marjorie Pay Hinckely. I frogot I even had this. I believe my cousin Kenny gave it to me but I can't remember if it was for my birthday or for Christmas. Either way, I am glad he gave it too me, and I have come across a couple of quotes that I like. "Who knows but that something wonderful may happen today. Have faith that it will. After all, every morning is a chance at a new day."
"Sometimes the pattern of life seems a little monotonous--and discouraging. It is like climbinb a mountain and, after reaching the top, getting knocked back down to the bottom to climb it again; but i guess the fun is in climbing and not in arriving. I hope so!" I really liked these two quotes and wanted to share them. I have read them before, but it always helps to read them again and again. Reminds us why we are here, and that we can succeed. I love you all, and hope you have a wonderful week!

Temple Tuesday!

Today is Tuesday, therefore, it is Temple Tuesday. Every Tuesday for the past year I have been going to the temple with my friend Karyn. I felt the need to start going to the temple regularly about a year ago. Not long after I started going, my dance teacher of more than ten years was diagnosed with cancer again. They say that things happen for a reason, and most of the time it takes months and even years for us to figure out why it happened. They also say that the Lord gives us tools to get through those obsticals much faster than he gives us reasons. Its crazy how one decision can change everything. It can change the life of just one person, or it can change the life of so many. There are so many things that happen in our life, and they pull us in so many directions. You find yourself taking so many different roads, and you never once made the turn on that road your self. So many things have happened since I started going to the temple, and many could say that that is the reason all of the things have been happening. But I know for a fact that was one road I turned on myself, by the promptings of the spirit, and it has changed my life dramitically. It has been the tool in which the lord has given me to get through all of the crap. It is the one place where I can say this is my path, and this is the road that I have chosen for my self. I am so thankful for the lord and all of the tools he has given me in my life. So many times people become tools in our lives, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful friends and family that have come into my life. The lord has given us friends and family to help us make it through all the many pathways that we chose to take, or are forced to take. He has also given us himself. I know that when I feel there is no where esle I can turn, that I can always turn to the lord. No matter what, I know he knows exactly how I feel, and he has become the best listenerIi have ever found. Thank you Lord, for all the many ups and downs. They have brought me closer to myself, and closer to you!

Slimmy Goodness!

I have been wanting a change for a little while now, and i guess this works!

I have been looking forward for this day for 6 1/2 years. Yup, my braces are finally off, and i am so excited!! I have been waiting for this day for so long, and never thought it would come. I finally get to look my age instead of a twelve year old. Wahoo!!! Other than getting my braces off today, nothing has really happened. I am trying to change my attitude and be more positive, so hopefully this little change will help!! Yea!!!!

Sedona Arizona!

Beautiful Sedona! One of the views we got to see on our 2 hour walk!

I really loved the red rocks! This town was so incredibly beautiful! It reminded me a little of St. George, and i also really love that town!

The entire town looked as if it was made for an old western movie. It was so cute! I thought John Wayne was going to jump out at any second!

The Barking Frog! This is where we ate dinner on our last night! It was so relaxing, and peaceful inside. It was a little expensive, but they had the best chocolate cake i had ever eatin in my life! Yum!

This is Donna, after we decided to go on a 2 hour walk in the heat of the day. Not the brightest idea we had on this vacation, but we survived and got to know the town a little better.

The view from our balcony! Isn't it beautiful?! We got lucky, and our balcony faced the mountains instead of the parking lot! I really enjoyed just sitting out there and taking in the scenery. It was so beautiful, and i didn't want to leave the beauty!

Our wonderful home/condo for the week.

Nice little note for guests who stay at this condo. Not something that made me too excited. I hate animals that can kill me! Hobo spider, scorpion, and two types of poisones snakes. ahhhhhh.

Our kitchen, which we cooked in at least twice a day!

Our first view of Sedona, and we were so excited! 10 hour drive, and we would have been happy with dirt!

We really enjoyed our vacation, and i am really glad that we went. I had a wonderful time, and it was very needed. Now that i am home, i will be getting ready for school. I have signed up for 3 classes this semester, and also recieved a grant! I was so excited, and felt so relieved when i found out i got the grant. I am now excited for the next couple of month! I will try and be better at posting on here. I hope i can try and post at least once a week! Hope you all enjoy your week! Love ya tons! xoxoxo

Who am I...

I have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, and one of the things that has been on my mind is a phrase from a hymn " who am i to judge another when i walk imperfectly". Another is when the savior said to the many people that wanted to stone a woman, " whom ever is without sin may cast the first stone". These things have been on my mind a lot lately and for a while i was thinking that other people need to have these thoughts on their mind. For the most part, they do, but i have realized i need to as well. I need to stop worrying about other people and what they think and what they do, and just try to be the best person that i can be. As long as the lord and I know what i am doing is right then that is all that matters in the end. I also wish others would take that last part on as well. Sometimes i think we get so caught up in what others may think or say that we forget about the lord and what he will think or say. So, for now i am going to worry about Brandie and making her the best person she can be inward and outward. I am going to try and be kinder to people, more respectful, and start treating everyone as a son or daughter of God, because we all are and we all deserve to be treated like that! I guess i need to remember that when i feel people have done me or my family wrong. Whether they are family or not, they desesrve to be loved and treated like the wonderful son or daughter of God that they are, because in the end we are all family.

Quote of the Day/Week!

I found this quote this morning in a Deseret Book catalog, and i love it! "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain." Oh my goodness, i really love this quote! Love it, love it, love it! I need to find this quote on a bigger plaque, so i can put it in my room where i can always see it! Wow, i love uplifting quotes, and i think i will need to find a new one every week, and i will share them with you all every week as well! Hope you all enjoy your day and i love ya tons!

Humbled

I am very humbled from conference this year! I always love conference and am so thankful for all that i learn each time it comes around! It amazes me how each time conference comes around that it always addresses what i need at that point in time. I have been very angry lately about how work and life in general are going. This conference had made me realize that all of that does not matter. There are so many more important things in life to worry about, and the new cashiers at work is not one of them. I realized i need to give them a chance and pray for love of my new coworkers and knowledge and understanding with and about them. Quentin L. Cook said, "it is not appropriate to be disagreable". This small statement hit me hard. I realized that i have not been the most enjoyable person to be around lately, and i feel horrible about that. He also said we need to "manifest our love for god when we keep the commandments and serve his children". Another talk that hit me was one by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. Some of the things i enjoyed were: We all are in need fo mercy, we condem too quickely, every person we meet is a vip to our heavenly father, everyone is walking his or her own difficult path. It is unworthy of christians to think that those who suffer deserve their suffereing, true love requires action. All of these really made me think. I found that i am condeming my fellow coworkers and judging far too quickely. I have not been giving them the appropriate respect and love that they deserve as one of heavenly fathers children. Another talk that helped my realize how not acceptable i have been treating my coworkes was by Keith B. McMullin. He talked about how god helps us forgive and that god forgives. Things can get better and better even in the face of tragedy. Another point he talked about was duty. Duty does not require perfection, but dilligence. We are duty bound to god first. All that we have is due to god, and we need to always remember that and not take it for granted. Second is duty to the lord jesus christ, our examplar, redeemer and king. We need to magnify our talents and pray always. Prayer is the lifeline to heaven. "Ye must watch and pray always to avoid temptation." "Ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you." This was the talk that really made me think. I realized that i have not been acting in the best christ like attitude that i have wanted and need to. I need to rely more on the lord. No one is perfect, but that cannot be an excuse, just something to remember when we get down on ourselves. I am so thankful for the savior and all that he has done for me. I am so very very thankful for the atonement, and that i know that i can be saved and forgiven because of the savior and what he did for me. I know that i can do all that i can, and the savior will help me get the rest of the way there. My goal is to remember all that i have learned this weekend and take it with me through the next while, and not just today!

Long week over.

One of the longest weeks of my life is finally over. Dans funeral was held on Saturday March 13, or better known as my birthday. I am so thankful for some closure that has finally come with his funeral. We will miss him very much and will always remember him. Because of this little trial i have learned that you must not let a day go by that you don't tell the people in your life that you love and care about them. I am so thankful for my family and friends, and i am also very thankful for the gospel. I am thankful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation and knowing that the lord is on my side no matter what. I am so thankful for the temple and how it helps me get through each day and each week. I know that the gospel is true and have a testimony of temple attendance, church attendance, tithing, and prayer. I know that the lord listens and answers all our prayers. We don't always get them answered the way or in the amount of time that we would like, but he answers all of them. I know that the temple can help you stive to keep the commandments and chose the right, and that it helps you to work through all of your problems. It does not desolve your problems, but it helps you get through them. I know the lord is always on our side and that we our never alone. He is always there with an outstretched hand just waiting for us to take it. I am so very thankful for my family and all that they do for me. I am thankful for my IFA family, and all they do for me and for each other. I am also thankful for my dance family. They are a buch of wonderful woman and i love them so much. I have no idea what i would do without all of these wonderful people in my life, or the gospel. I am grateful for all the trials that we have in our life, because i know that they will strenghthen us in the end. Thank you Dan for making me a better person and for allowing me to come and work at IFA and finding some of the best friends i could ever have.

Here are some pictures of the better half of my birthday:
This first one is how the night ended. It is right before everyone left to go home.

This one is also right before everyone left, but we are giving our pleasant faces instead of goofy ones.



I decided i wanted to play Rock Band for my birthday and these are some pictures of our crazy care free night:)

This is me eating a strawberry off of my fruit bouqet. I wanted a fruit bouqet instead of a cake, and boy was it yummy!

My bouqet before i took a bite out of it.
All of us at dinner. I decided i wanted to go to tepanyaki for my birthday! Deja, Mom, Dillon, Kim and I all went! Lots of fun and yummy food! Love this place!

My week ended today with Stake Conference, and it was wonderful. It talked about how we needed to stay strong and hold onto the gospel. It talked about staying strong through adversity, and that was exactly what i needed to hear. I am so thankful for the lord, and how he knows when we need a little extra something to help us get through our trials. I love you all and hope you all enjoy your week! Thank you for all the love and support you have shown me in the past week and a half. Until next time:)

Rest in peace Dan!

Today i found out that my manager Dan Dudley died. He was on a cruise with his wife and died in his sleep yesterday. Dan was a wonderful man and was always concerned about his staff. He was always checking up on me after my dance teacher died and acted as if he really cared about my well being! I am deeply saddened at his passing, and pray for his family and all of those who got the pleasure of working with him. He was the reason our store ran so well, and his presence will be greatly missed. He always made me smile, and i will miss coming into work in the mornings and seeing his smile! One of the things i remembered about him was when he brought me a bag of grandma cookies, the iced oatmeal ones. He knew they were my favorite and he knew i was having a hard time. He always knew when his employees were havign a rough time and always gave us space. When we got off track or didn't treat a customer as well as we should have, he was always understanding and just talked us through it and made us feel better about ourselves! It is times like this that i am eternely grateful for the plan of salvation. It is great to know that we will see our loved ones again, and that Dans family will see him again. They were sealed in the temple, and i am just so very thankful that we have the oppertunity to be sealed to our families. I really loved that man, and he was a great example to me. Thank you Dan, for being a wonderful friend and an excellent boss! You will be greatly missed! Love and will miss you tons Dan.

and the days go on!

Boy how time just flies by these days. It seems like just yesterday that it was the beginning of the year. Well, here are some pictures of whats been going on lately! The one above is right before we went out to dinner for Dill's b-day!

This is Dill in his new pea coat and thinking he is cool because some dude gave him a cigar on his last day of work, and now he is actually of legal age to smoke! So not that exciting!

Every year, my friends and i always do an anitivalentines day dinner, and this is it. The whole gang went to Ruby Tuesdays! We had a lot of fun and a really great dinner!

This is when i went to St. George the beg. of february! For some reason this is the only picture i took, and i don't even know what fathead and i were doing at this point. Im pretty sure it was saturday night, or right before the superbowl. Cute little fathead! I've had a lot of fan the past couple of months and look forward to my own b-day which is in a couple of weeks! Will have to remember to take pictures then! Tah tah for now! Love you all!

Boy how time just flies by these days! It seems like just yesterday that the new year started, and yet it is March 1. WOW, thats all i can say. I do however have some pictures of all the stuff i have done since my last post.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! I'm really looking forward to this new year, and all that it holds. I honestly can't wait to see what it brings! I am also so very thankful for all of my family and friends and i love you all so very much! Thanks to all those who helped my family out so much this last year! Mainly neighbors and the amazing John and Jane Bracken clan! You guys are wonderful and i am so thankful that you are apart of our lives!
So, i have a couple of new years resolutions this year. The first two are to workout every day, minus sunday, and eat healthier! I also want to make sure that i continue going to the temple every tuesday, because i know that is a life saver and probably the only thing that keeps me going sometimes. I also just want to be more Christ like. I want to be kinder to people(mainly customers), and not talk bad about anyone. I have a problem of talking about people when i need to vent, so my solution is to only vent to my mother and my Heavenly Father, and just realize that we are all human beings and no one is perfect, including my self! I am just so thankful for all that i have and can not wait to see what the new year brings! Lets go 2010! Love you all and hope all of you have a wonderful year!- will try and post pictures soon-
Love Brandie xoxoxo