Fearless

I painted my nails today, this wonderful orangeish redish color. The name for this polish is none other than FEARLESS. I received this polish from my amazing best friend Donna. She gave it to me for Valentines day. She said it was something I needed, and thought it could help me through all the rough times and days. I would really love to be fearless. I think that is a great goal to have. It's a very broad term, but it's something I want to be able to achieve in some aspects of my life. Still stsruggling, but doing better than the last post. Still struggling with depression and anxiety, but learning new ways of dealing with it and facing it. Still can't stand on my own two feet yet, and this is something I have realized the past two weekends. i have been somewhat alone the past two weekends, because my best friend has been away with family. She has been the reason I am still standing. Without her I would not be able to stand and live through the ups and downs of life right now. I have to pack my weekends and days full of stuff in order for me to keep going. Without her I feel as if I am all alone and have no where to turn. She has been the constant in my life right now, and I feel lost without her. It doesn't help that I am a girl and my emotions are all over the place right now. I have been an absolute mess the past two days. I bawled my eyes out last night on my way home, and I bawled my eyes out while at work and on my way home from work. There are so many emotions at the surface lately, and it never helps when my hormones are all over the place. I look forward to the day when I can enjoy life and be able to stand on my own two feet. Be able to love my self for who and what I am. Once I can learn to love my self, it will be easier to allow others to love me. So, FEARLESS, that is what I strive to be. Fearless to be on my own and to not live through others. To be able to accept my self and my life, no matter who is apart of it. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet. Here is to FEARLESS!