Far too long....

Its been far too long since I last updated this blog. A lot has gone on and come to pass since I last wrote on here. My wonderful friend is doing much better. She is actually keeping me a float now. My dad got married in November. I now have three new brothers and a sister. I'm not gonna lie though, that weekend was one of the hardest weekends I've had in a while. I sturggled alot that weekend with feeling alone, left out, and stuck. I felt and still feel sometimes, that my family was changing and going in so many different directions, but I was not. Still working on that aspect, but its getting easier to handle now, and I'm starting to come to terms with it. Trying to look at it as a way of getting a bigger support system. Easier said than done most days, but I'm working on it.
Fall semester ended, and I am proud to say I finished the semester with a 3.85! i was going for a 4.0, but a 3.85 will do. I worked really hard at trying to stay on top of stuff this semester, and I guess you could say it payed off.
Christmas has come and gone, and it was a good day. I recieved money for new tires, which I just got this week, my laptop fixed, and a trip to New York! The trip to New York is a christmas/birthday gift from friends and family. If work will allow three of their cashiers to go, I will be going March 25-April 2! I am so excited for this if it comes to pass!
New Years has come and gone as well. Nothing exciting went on for New Years. had a little party at my best friends a.k.a sisters house, which turned into a big sleep over because we were all too tired to drive home.
I think that brings us to the here and now. I am looking forward to the New Year! I am hoping it will be better than the last two. I have three things to look forward to: first is the wedding of my other best friend Deja. I am so happy for Deja and Lucas! They both deserve the best and that is what they are getting in each other. Next will hopefully be my trip to New York, and then a trip to Louisiana to visit the newly weds!
I only have a couple of new years resolutions. The main one is to put my self first. This may sound selfish, but I have spent my entire life doing what makes others happy, while it makes me miserable. My goal is to make my self happy. I have learned from a couple of friends that if I don't do that, I will head into some very choppy, and hard to stay a float waters. I still know serving others is a huge key to happiness, but so is taking care of my self. I will be going to the singles ward starting a week from sunday, and hope to meet some new people (mainly boys:)). School will be starting on thursday and I will continue to try and stay on top of things there, and in the rest of my life.
My last resolution is to continue to exercise, eat right, and lose more weight. I have lost about 25 pounds and dropped 5 pant sizes. I want to keep going and lose about 30-40 more pounds. I just need to get working out again and making it a habit.
Sorry for the long post, but I believe we are all caught up now. Hope all are doing well and I hope you all have a fantastic year! Love you tons, and will try to update more often.

Life....?

Life right now pretty much sucks. I am at a loss of what to do right now. My best friend in the entire world again has no will to live. How can you make someone see that they are important and that they matter? How can you tell someone that God does love all of his children, and that he does not just sit on the side lines? Whenever it seems to be looking like its getting better, something else comes along to hault the progress. I was told that God does not care about us at all. If he cared he would not take away people that we love and keep letting us suffer. He has the power to stop all the suffering and yet he does not. He just stands on the sidelines, or so she says. What do I say to this?
I know that he does not stand on the sidelines! He suffers through every single pain with us. We chose to come to this earth and to feel all this pain. We knew what we were getting into, and yet we still came. I know that we are never alone and that he does not enjoy watching us suffer, but he can't fix everything. Yes, he has the power to fix everything, but then we would learn nothing and never be a strong people. Without the suffering, pain,and sorrow, we would never know what it was like to not suffer or experience joy and happiness. I know all of this and tell it to her all the time, but it is not getting through. I pray for her everyday. I pray that I will know what to say to help her, I pray that she will know what to do to help herself, that her family will know what to do to help and that her therapist will know what to do to help.
I know that this gospel is true, and it pains me to see others suffer through life without it! I wish I could make them see all the good that is in their life! There is always gonna be bad in our life, but there is always gonna be good too! I know we need to more closely look at the good instead of the bad, but how do you make others do this. If all we look for is the bad, then that is all we are going to find. Life is full of so many blessings, and I wish people would look at that instead of the bad. "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of god and of all men..." "...ye must pray always..." "I cry into my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry." At this time I would like to ask all of you to please pray for my friend! Please help me to "cry unto (our) God in faith, and I know that he will hear (our) cry. Love you all and thank you!

Rollercoaster!

This past month has been a huge rollercoaster for me. I have been dealing with a lot of things in my own life as well as some things in a friends. Sometimes when life gets too hard to deal with we tend to chose unhealthy outlets. Well, i happened to chose just one of those this past month. Something that has always been at the back of my mind, but i never fully let it take over. What is this unhealthy outlet you may ask? Well, its a little something called not eating. It's something that I have thought about for a long time. With all of the things that have been going on this month and this over whelming feeling that life is uncontrolable sometimes, I just decided to control something. I dabled in it for a good couple of weeks, and then the last 2 weeks went full force. It felt so wonderful being in control, and i honestly thought I could stop once I got to a weight that I was comfotable at. Well, thanks to a wonderful friend, and a little time at a lake making comparisons between the two of us an our decisions, I realized that not eating is not a good out. Deep down, I think I knew that once I let it take control, that I would not be able to stop. I knew that it was harmful to my self and eventualy to those around me, but I wanted to be in control. It took a lot of soul searching and discussions with a friend,but thankfully I came to this conclusion before it got out of control. I now need to focus my energy on more healthy ways to feel in control.I am not saying that this feeling is gone totaly away, but I have the realization that this is not a good out and can push it away whenever it decides to come back. I don't need to cut out food all together, I can just watch what I eat and make healthier choices. I don't have to say no to cookies and sweets all the time. I can have a cookie or a sweet every once in a while. There is nothing wrong with enjoying some of lifes tasty treats. I can go running or walking when I feel out of control and can let all my energy out that way. I can also talk to my wonderful friend who has helped me through this entire month!
Sometimes we wonder why things happen in our life and why certain people come into our lives, and we never find out until later why they may come into our lives. I am so thankful for friends and family that I know I can turn to in times of need! I am so thankful for the Lord and that he knows what is best for us, and he knows when it is best for things to happen and for certain people to come into our lives. I don't know where I would be without the gospel and some very special friends and family! Thank you to my Mom Deja, and to someone who will remain anonymous, but you know who you are. You have been there for me through the hard times, even if you didn't know it! Thank you oh so very much! I love all 3 of you so much and am so thankful that you are all in my life!
Please don't let this post send you into panic mode, I just felt it was time to let it all out and try and hold my self a little more accountable for my actions. Once stuff is out there, you can't take it back and it makes it easier to follow through with things you say your going to do! So my challenge to all of you, is to look at your own life and see if there are unhealthy outlets that you have chosen to take. If there are, find a healthy outlet and then tell someone so you can be held accountable for it. Thank you all for being there for my family and I! I love you all a ton and hope you have a wonderful week!

Quotes of the week!

I was looking through a box of books, and came across "Small and Simple things", by Marjorie Pay Hinckely. I frogot I even had this. I believe my cousin Kenny gave it to me but I can't remember if it was for my birthday or for Christmas. Either way, I am glad he gave it too me, and I have come across a couple of quotes that I like. "Who knows but that something wonderful may happen today. Have faith that it will. After all, every morning is a chance at a new day."
"Sometimes the pattern of life seems a little monotonous--and discouraging. It is like climbinb a mountain and, after reaching the top, getting knocked back down to the bottom to climb it again; but i guess the fun is in climbing and not in arriving. I hope so!" I really liked these two quotes and wanted to share them. I have read them before, but it always helps to read them again and again. Reminds us why we are here, and that we can succeed. I love you all, and hope you have a wonderful week!

Temple Tuesday!

Today is Tuesday, therefore, it is Temple Tuesday. Every Tuesday for the past year I have been going to the temple with my friend Karyn. I felt the need to start going to the temple regularly about a year ago. Not long after I started going, my dance teacher of more than ten years was diagnosed with cancer again. They say that things happen for a reason, and most of the time it takes months and even years for us to figure out why it happened. They also say that the Lord gives us tools to get through those obsticals much faster than he gives us reasons. Its crazy how one decision can change everything. It can change the life of just one person, or it can change the life of so many. There are so many things that happen in our life, and they pull us in so many directions. You find yourself taking so many different roads, and you never once made the turn on that road your self. So many things have happened since I started going to the temple, and many could say that that is the reason all of the things have been happening. But I know for a fact that was one road I turned on myself, by the promptings of the spirit, and it has changed my life dramitically. It has been the tool in which the lord has given me to get through all of the crap. It is the one place where I can say this is my path, and this is the road that I have chosen for my self. I am so thankful for the lord and all of the tools he has given me in my life. So many times people become tools in our lives, and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful friends and family that have come into my life. The lord has given us friends and family to help us make it through all the many pathways that we chose to take, or are forced to take. He has also given us himself. I know that when I feel there is no where esle I can turn, that I can always turn to the lord. No matter what, I know he knows exactly how I feel, and he has become the best listenerIi have ever found. Thank you Lord, for all the many ups and downs. They have brought me closer to myself, and closer to you!

Slimmy Goodness!

I have been wanting a change for a little while now, and i guess this works!

I have been looking forward for this day for 6 1/2 years. Yup, my braces are finally off, and i am so excited!! I have been waiting for this day for so long, and never thought it would come. I finally get to look my age instead of a twelve year old. Wahoo!!! Other than getting my braces off today, nothing has really happened. I am trying to change my attitude and be more positive, so hopefully this little change will help!! Yea!!!!

Sedona Arizona!

Beautiful Sedona! One of the views we got to see on our 2 hour walk!

I really loved the red rocks! This town was so incredibly beautiful! It reminded me a little of St. George, and i also really love that town!

The entire town looked as if it was made for an old western movie. It was so cute! I thought John Wayne was going to jump out at any second!

The Barking Frog! This is where we ate dinner on our last night! It was so relaxing, and peaceful inside. It was a little expensive, but they had the best chocolate cake i had ever eatin in my life! Yum!

This is Donna, after we decided to go on a 2 hour walk in the heat of the day. Not the brightest idea we had on this vacation, but we survived and got to know the town a little better.

The view from our balcony! Isn't it beautiful?! We got lucky, and our balcony faced the mountains instead of the parking lot! I really enjoyed just sitting out there and taking in the scenery. It was so beautiful, and i didn't want to leave the beauty!

Our wonderful home/condo for the week.

Nice little note for guests who stay at this condo. Not something that made me too excited. I hate animals that can kill me! Hobo spider, scorpion, and two types of poisones snakes. ahhhhhh.

Our kitchen, which we cooked in at least twice a day!

Our first view of Sedona, and we were so excited! 10 hour drive, and we would have been happy with dirt!

We really enjoyed our vacation, and i am really glad that we went. I had a wonderful time, and it was very needed. Now that i am home, i will be getting ready for school. I have signed up for 3 classes this semester, and also recieved a grant! I was so excited, and felt so relieved when i found out i got the grant. I am now excited for the next couple of month! I will try and be better at posting on here. I hope i can try and post at least once a week! Hope you all enjoy your week! Love ya tons! xoxoxo